Yaki Margulies performs an original comedy song about Hannukah live at The Clubhouse on December 13, 2017.
Lyrics:
Everybody likes Hannukah, everybody likes getting gifts
There’s a neat story about a miracle, but that story’s got me feeling miffed
There was no magic oil; that was just a lie
But still we light the candles and eat food that is fried
In the actual story, a lot of people died
We’re taught about our heroes – the Maccabees, and they’re how we survived
But the Maccabees were actually assholes who stayed in power forever
By killing off all of their rivals and then growing steadily less clever
Under their rule, so many crimes transpired
But their worst crime of all was importing the Roman Empire
The Israelites wanted their freedom and boy they lit a fire
But then a lot more Roman legions came down and most of the Jews expired
(It was one of the worst Jewish massacres in history until the Holocaust)
But everybody likes Hannukah, everybody likes getting gifts
The presents are because of Christmas envy, and parents don’t want to seem like dicks (to their kids)
This story’s not even in the Bible, it’s such a minor holiday
But everybody likes Hannukah; it’s all sort of a lie, but… okay